This Video Is Proof That Dogs Understand Everything You Say, So Even Your Pet Knows You’re Kind Of A Dick

Remember all those times you’ve masturbated with your dog in the room and you thought to yourself “Baxter is just a dog, he has no concept of whacking it, thus cannot judge me for watching a cartoon rendition of Lois Griffin get railed by Quagmire on PornHub?” But a small part of you kind of had a hunch he knew what was going on because because he’d tilt his head to the side as if to say “Really, dude? I’m literally right here” while you willed him to go away as you half-heartedly stroked your chub to keep its pulse. Well he knew. He knows. And he’ll always know. This video is proof. That’s why if dogs were magically given the ability to speak, I’d have to suffocate my dog with a pillow and pretend he died of old age. That would suck.