Wakeboarding Bro Gets Cocky And Tries To Catch A Beer, Ends Up Shattering His Rib Cage

Well goddamn. That took a turn for the best. Typically I’d feel for a dude who just shattered his sternum on a pole that has absolutely no business being in the middle of a lake, but Man Bun delivered such a perfect toss that dropping it allowed me to be satisfied with the results. There is absolutely no way that pole was there before the beer slipped through his fingers–the universe constructed it immediately after this piss poor performance as punishment for smearing the Bro name. The Bro Gods are fickle motherfuckers. Harsh, but fair.

P.S. When you released from the hospital in 6-8 months, please turn in your Bro Card. Doctor’s orders bruh.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.