Dude Wakes Up From Coma Addicted To Cheese And Swearing, And Let’s Welcome Him To The Club

Kai Thomas, a 15-year-old from England, woke up from a nine day coma addicted to swearing and cheese.

Kai collapsed last June after a massive brain bleed and underwent a six hour surgery before losing his power of speech and movement.

Once regained, his mother, Tracey,  noticed a change in how Kai was acting, acquiring odd compulsions.

Tracey told the Daily Mail:

One day I was in the kitchen, when I heard Kai yelling in his bedroom. He was screaming: “F***, b******, s***. (Translation: Fuck, Bitches, Shit). I wondered what on earth was going on – the expletives were coming thick and fast.

She then wondered up to Kai’s room, where she found him mowing down a block of cheese.

He has always liked cheese but now he’s obsessed with it.

Tracey has indicated that Kai’s recovery is progressive, slowly but surely.

“Fuck!” and Fontina are two addictions I can live with without an intervention. Kai, if it’s any solace, I woke up today addicted to porn and tobacco, but my heads been off since birth.

Get well, bud.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.