This Is What Happens To Your Body After You Eat A Big Mac

“Two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun…can ya dig it?” -my math teacher in 7th grade, who would say that at least once per class for some unknown reason. Real weird guy. Also, a guy that is probably no longer of this earth if he was putting back Big Macs at the same rate he was singing about them. #HeartDisease.

We’ve dipped out collective toes into the “what does X do to your body after consuming it” pond a few times already. The answer to all of the products tested is usually “Nothing good. This product does nothing good for your body at all and you, sir, are an asshole for continuing to pour it down your fat throat.” But let’s do it again, because why the fuck not.

A lot of people don’t care for the Big Mac — for me it’s second to the Quarter Pounder — but it still remains McDonald’s signature offering. In it’s heyday, it was probably billed as a monster, a meal for those with an extra big appetite. Today, it’s a fairly small burger by America’s standards. Eight ounces or bust, motherfucker!

Regardless of it’s size, the Big Mac still manages to pack a crippling, 563 calorie punch as it relates to your diet. But what does it do to your body immediately after you eat one? You might guess that smart money is on “violent diarrhea,” but surprisingly it’s not.

Previously... What Coke, Diet Coke, Beer, and Red Bull all do to your beautiful body

[H/T Fast Food Menu Price]