Woman Calls Police To Complain That Her Meth Is Laced With ‘Something’, Is Promptly Arrested


Now I could be wrong, but I think the “Meth Purity” division of the Oklahoma police force was disbanded years ago. Now when people have complaints about what goes in their meth, they have to go and bitch at their dealers. Bullshit, right? Like what are my tax dollars going towards if not people to handle meth complaints? That’s what I would be thinking to myself, if I was 54-year-old Lynette Sampson.

“A 54-year-old Enid woman is facing felony drug charges after police said she called and said she thought her methamphetamine was laced with something….

Sgt. Tim Doyle had told Barber that Sampson had called him at the police department and told him she had methamphetamine in a tin container on her kitchen counter, according to the affidavit.

Barber knocked on the front door of the home and Sampson told him, ‘I’m glad you came,’ according to the affidavit. Barber asked if he could speak with her, Sampson said yes and the two walked into the living room.

Sampson began telling Barber she thought her ‘ice’ was laced with something, according to the affidavit. Ice is a common slang for methamphetamine.

Barber asked Sampson to show it to him and Sampson walked into the kitchen with the officer, showing him a tin container on the counter.

Sampson opened the tin and also showed Barber a hollowed out light bulb containing a white residue Sampson said was methamphetamine, according to the affidavit. She also showed Barber two small bag containing a white crystalline substance.”

Via Enid News

BRILLIANT. Next we’ll be hearing about how she’s hitting up her prison warden about how “The cocaine my cellmate smuggled here in her butthole smells like poo and she won’t give me a refund.”

[H/T Huffington Post]