Woman Opens Fire At McDonald’s Over Bacon-Less Burger–Proving Once Again, The Customer’s Always Right

Screen Shot 2015-04-22 at 7.06.33 PM


A Michigan woman has been sentenced to three to seven years in prison for opening fire at a McDonald’s after employees failed to put bacon on her burger TWICE. How does that old saying go again?

“Fuck me once, shame on you. Fuck me twice, open fire on your negligent ass.”


I think that was Oprah. Don’t quote me quoting her on that, though.

Shaneka Torres, 30, became infuriated when the first burger she ordered through the drive-thru was missing bacon. The woman was offered a free meal but received a bacon-less burger yet again. Just a giant, bacon-less FUCK YOU, in my opinion.

Police say she fired a shot through the restaurant drive-thru window. Unfortunately, no one was injured. I mean *fortunately no one was injured. Ya, fortunately.

Torres was sentenced to one to five years for shooting at a building, plus two years for possessing a firearm during a felony, and a lifetime ban from McDonald’s, according to the Huffington Post.

Torres says she’s sorry and “it’s over and done with.”

Does she deserve up to seven years behind bars for making the world a better place? I’m not saying opening fire on underpaid McDonald’s employees was the right thing to do, but no one was hurt, and they sure as hell won’t make the same again. May even throw extra bacon on all burgers going forward. And in this life, it’s no crime to leave the world better than you found it.

Thank you, Shaneka. First burger is on me when you’re released.

[H/T Huffington Post]

BroBible Newsletter - The best sports and culture news directly to your inbox

* indicates required