World’s Newest Robot Can Display Fear, Which Is Just A Trick, It Is Not Afraid And It Will Kill You

CHIBA, JAPAN - JUNE 18:  Pepper speaks and performs during the news conference on June 18, 2015 in Chiba, Japan. Softbank Corp. announced that its humanoid product, Pepper, developed by the company's Aldebaran Robotics unit, will be available for consumers at 198,000 yen on June 20, 2015. SoftBank Corp. also announced that  Alibaba Group Holding Limited and Foxconn Technology Group reached an agreement that Alibaba and Foxconn will each invest 14.5 billion in SoftBank Robotics Holdings Corp., to promote Softbank's robotic business including Pepper to the global market.  (Photo by Koki Nagahama/Getty Images)

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Meet Pepper. Oh no, Pepper, you look afraid. Are you worried about something? Scared or nervous? Don’t be, Pepper. It’s okay, let me put my arm around you to comfort and succor you.

You are now dead, Pepper’s fraught, dreadful look a simple ruse to get you close enough to stab you.

The fuck you, dead you, such dead you, thought she was afraid of? She’s a fucking robot. A robot. Robots are not afraid. They are sentient, emotionless killing machines. Why Pepper’s inventors thought it would be good to program that reaction into her, well, isn’t it obvious?

Humans are idiots and are not for this world.

Pepper is SoftBank’s first foray into the sellable robot business (a business wherein they sell robots to you) and she costs $1,600. You can hang yourself for the cost of a bed sheet and at least leave your children $1,585. Good bed sheet’ll only run you fifteen bucks.

From Engagdet:

[The] 4-foot humanoid ‘bot is designed communicate realistically and even read your body language and tone of voice. It also “enjoys” human contact via touch sensors in the head and hands, and can detect you with an array of high-definition cameras, depth sensors and microphones. The manga-like eyes follow your movement, and the wheeled body — which moves fairly gracefully — is driven by 20 motors.

Here’s a video of it not killing your kids, which is ironic, because it will kill your kids.

The robot goes on sale this week in Japan.

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