Ex-Circus Zebras Are Running Through The Streets Of Philadelphia And Yep! The Mushrooms Just Kicked In

zebra escape


Zebras are sick of being your fucking puppets. They didn’t sign up for your stupid circus and are paid well below minimum wage. I mean, how many times can you watch a dude juggle some fucking balls before you and your zebras bros plan a Shawshank? This was just a matter of time.

Per NBC Philadelphia:

Police are trying to corral zebras running loose in West Philadelphia.

The zebras, according to witness accounts, reportedly somehow got loose from the UniverSoul Circus outside the Mann Center for the Performing Arts, near 52nd Street and Parkside Avenue.


Check out this renegade prancing through the streets like he pays taxes.


This dude is un-fucking-stoppable.




Look at this zebra trying to act on his best behavior. Like “You know I was just playin’.”


Even if all zebras are captured, it makes for a hell of a story to tell over some ice cold zebrews.

[h/t The Big Lead]

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