My Apology To The Game Of Golf, On The Brilliantly Dumb Show

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Today was the release of the 58th episode of The Brilliantly Dumb Show and the closing ‘Ask Bob’ segment hit me harder than ever. A young man from Ramsey, New Jersey asked me what I look forward to most post quarantine and I got hit with all the feels. It was an easy answer, the game of golf.

Golf courses in LA have been closed for months now and I can’t remember a time where I’ve missed the game as much as I do now. How could I ever take for granted being out there with the boys knowing damn well I have no shot at breaking 90 with the number of white claws I have flowing through my system? That is the beauty of the game, before that first tee shot there is nobody that can tell you you’re not going for the course record that day. It comes around the fourth or fifth hole where you put the scorecard away and realize you will be happy just to keep up with your friends and just have a good time. There is nothing else like it and shame on me for ever taking it all for granted.

Am I being too dramatic for only being out of the game for two months? Probably. But, never again will I underestimate or take for granted being able to step onto the course and immediately pummel a 275-yard drive to the opposite fairway and yell “fore” as loud as I can so that the guy on the fourth fairway doesn’t get drilled in the dome with a Pro V1. I will appreciate those moments more than ever now.

Although that guy on the fourth hole won’t be happy to have a welt on his head, he will at least appreciate the fact that I yelled “fore.” Those 5-foot putts that I always claim as ‘gimmes’ even though I know damn well they’re not, will always be properly finished moving forward. Will it add 8-10 strokes to my final score? No doubt about it, but I am okay with that.

I love you golf, even though I tell you I hate you all the time, I love you. Take care of your clubs and get those things as clean as possible, because when it comes the time that we all get the green light to go back out there, it is pedal to the metal folks.

In the meantime, be sure to subscribe to The Brilliantly Dumb Show on YouTube and Apple Podcasts for some immediate quarantine relief.