I May Quit My Job Today And Try To Be This 11-Year-Old Baller’s Agent Because He’s 100% Going To The NBA

Hypothetically, if I quietly job today and moved to Leesburg, Virginia and got the first bite at the apple to be this 11-year-old’s agent, I’d likely be a millionaire in 10 years. It’s no crazier of an idea than than myself and the editors at BroBible genuinely believing that we have a snowballs chance in hell at winning the $1.5 billion Powerball tomorrow. (I honestly think Cass Anderson believes we’re a shoe-in. Like I don’t think he’s kidding.)

The 4-foot-3-inch prodigy’s name is Noah Cutler and he just started playing basketball two years ago at the age of nine, according to Buzzfeed. And by my estimation, he’s already got that killer instinct I love in a client.

“Someone smiled at me because I’m small,” he told Buzzfeed. “Then I squared on him.”

 

Live look at me right now.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.