How Many Bong Rips Would You Have To Face To Binge On As Much McDonald’s As This Olympic Badminton Player After Loss?

Lets take some inventory for the meal Australian badminton player Sawan Serasinghe took down after his Olympic loss to China:

One Big Mac, two McChicken Sandwiches, a Quarter Pounder with Cheese, two hamburgers, 40 Chicken McNuggets, six large fries, one smoothie and one bottle of water. Totaling around 7,500 calories, or nearly three times the suggested calorie intake for a grown ass man in a day.

Now, it’s estimated that a badminton player runs about 1.25-2 miles a match, which is nothing compared to the workout an NBA players gets (hovering around 5 miles a game, 2 if you’re James Harden). Now I’m the torch holder for treatin’ yoself, but let’s be measured in how much we’re congratulating ourself for a light jog and a loss, wadda ya say Sawan. This is coming from the dude who ate six 7 Eleven taquitos for dinner on Saturday night. Six. And the only thing I lost that night were my keys and my self-worth.

But to answer the question posed in the headline, I’d probably need to suck down 3 bong rips to work up and appetite to eat a third of that feast before I shit myself or had a heart attack.

P.S. I’ve lived 28 years thinking it was spelled badmitton. Autocorrect is a lying little fuck.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.