Louisville Football Coach Bobby Petrino Liking Smut Content On Twitter Is VINTAGE Petrino

We all get horny. I saw a subway ad for ITT Tech this morning that nearly gave me a chubby. So to sit here and shame a man for checking out some smut would not only be hypocritical, but downright un-American.

There’s a reason there isn’t a like button on PornHub associated with your account, because you don’t want a fucking tissue paper trail to your deepest, darkest vices. But you can’t teach old people new technology. The 55-year-old Petrino was recently caught liking some smut erotica novel content on Twitter. I haven’t read A Bouquet of Gardenias by Judy Kemp, but from the review it looks like it’s FIVE STAR SMUT.

He followed the trajectory of everyone who makes a mistake of this nature who doesn’t have the sack to own up to it.

Petrino released the following statement to the Courier Journal:

“I was alerted this morning that there was inappropriate material on my official Twitter account,” Petrino said. “While the account is generally under my supervision, there are multiple people, and possibly an unauthorized user, who have access to my account. We’ve always taken the appropriate steps to make sure our official social media accounts are secure and we are taking measures to make sure this situation never happens again.”

I was born at night, Bobby, but not last night. I understand the ‘hack’ excuse is standard operating procedure nowadays, but this wouldn’t be the first time you pulled our tails about some scandalous shit.

Remember back in 2012 when you got into that motorcycle accident and you claimed you were on the bike alone but you were really on it with a Razorbacks All-SEC volleyball player that you were banging on the side? And you also gave her $20,000 for a Christmas gift? I’m not trying to open up old wounds here, Bobby, but if you’re going to piss on my face and tell me it’s raining, all bets are off.

[h/t Deadspin]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.