Editor’s Note: Earlier this afternoon a loyal BroBible reader from LeagueHeads passed along a fantastic story about a bunch of Boston Brosl now living in Los Angeles sneaking into the Patriots Super Bowl after-party and partying with Robert Kraft. They originally told their story on their blog, bosangeles.com, which you should like on Facebook. They gave us special permission to republish the story, which is the most Bro-tastic thing we’ve heard since Julian Edelman partied with BU sorority girls.
The plan hatched during the massive beat down on Indianapolis during the AFC Championship game. #BosAngeles hosted the massive Patriots party at ‘The Parlor’ in Hollywood. A smaller contingent of us decided that we were going to Arizona regardless of whether or not we acquired tickets. Being Patriots fans our entire lives we figured it was a no brainer. After lucking out with a cheap AirBnB due to a cancellation, Nat, Regal, Yancey and Mike piled into a Prius and shot down to Glendale, Arizona with no connections, passes, or tickets.
It begins. #BosAngeles heads to the Super Bowl.
After two weeks of watching embarrassing coverage of everything from Deflategate all the way to the size of Tom Brady’s balls (which are gigantic, by the way), me and my friends decided we were fed up and should go to Super Bowl XLIX.
Saturday, January 31st 2015 (9:42:59 AM) Marina Del Rey, CA
Nat, Regal, Yancey and Mike decided F-this, we are going to the Super Bowl to party and troll like a bunch of Massholes. Upon leaving we take a car selfie and begin our journey of debauchery.
3:43:41 PM we arrive in Glendale, Arizona
We raged Saturday night at the W Hotel and surrounding block parties, which Yancey got us into. He said he was “feeling confident”.
This was a sign of good luck to come. We raged most of the night away before deciding it was probably in our best interest to head back to the Air BnB and try to get ‘some’ sleep before Sunday.
February 1st, 2015 ‘Day Of The Super Bowl’.
We rise for breakfast.
Traffic is a total drag so our Uber driver gets us as close as humanly possible. As we wait at a red light Yancey rolls the window down and decides to ‘speak’ with the Seattle fans next to us. He informs the driver that he’s heard ‘most Seattle fans are good in bed’. After introducing Yancey to her husband in the passenger seat, she informed us that she was almost four months pregnant. This of course prompted Yancey to exclaim ‘Oh well even better! Topics of conversation ranged from the taste of semen, The New England Patriots beating the Seattle Seac***s, average amount of sex per week, pregnancy sex, Katy Perry and threesomes.
10:46:49 AM: We officially arrive at the stadium.
We are quickly realizing Patriots fans are outnumbered 8 to 1. It doesn’t change the fact that a majority of them suck … including these weirdos who wore ‘Legion Of Boom’ cuts. We refer to them as the ‘Legion Of Poon’ and keep it moving.
We finally hit the main part of the stadium. Now we are outnumbered by Seahawks fans seemingly 100 to 1.
We have been sitting in line for nearly half an hour to the closest bar we could find which was called ‘McFaddens’. When we reach the front of the line we realize they are expecting us to pay 200 dollars each in order to watch the entirety of the game there. This does not go over well with me and I begin to walk away …
… Suddenly, Yancey calls me back over and explains to me that they have a table (this of course after Yancey has cut the line). We most certainly did not have a table. I know full well we don’t have a table but I go with it. Regal does too. Somehow Yancey gets a peek at the table reservation list the young woman is carrying, informs her that the top two names are him and Regal then manages to bullshit his way in. She informs us that Regal and Yancey are free, but that I have to pay 100 to get in. So we take it. We worry for a second that Mike will not get in because he is nowhere to be found …
Then we noticed Mike had already snuck inside. She hands us our wristbands and we head in …
Regal, being from Dorchester, was very impressed with Mike’s fence jumping abilities which we later realized were acquired during his childhood rearing near the Maximum Security Penitentiary in Walpole, MA. So instead of having to pay 200 dollars each (800 in total) for us to watch the game at a supposed ‘Irish Pub’ we all got in for 100 dollars flat.
This is going well.
Let’s get drinks.
Oh and then we realized why there were so many Seahawks fans:
We find some Patriot fans. They are few and far between.
Ok from here until approximately 3:30 pm it’s a hodgepodge of debauchery: pissing in pitchers because the bathroom lines are too long, drinking with Rob Gronkowski’s brothers, chanting nonsensical rants and terrible Seattle fans acting like they know the slightest thing about football.
Gronk’s brothers came to rage.