Bruins Fans Eviscerate Billionaire Team Owner For Stingy Handling Of Stadium Employees During Pandemic

John Tlumacki/The Boston Globe via Getty Images

Drew Brees: I’m committing $5,000,000 to the state of Louisiana in 2020 to help resurrect us from the pandemic.

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively: We’re donating $1,000,000 split between Feeding America and Food Banks of Canada.

Zion Williamson, who is two years away from being able to legally drink a beer: I am pledging to cover the salaries for all of those Smoothie King Center workers for the next 30 days.

Bruins owner Jeremy Jacobs, worth an estimated $3.1 billion: Fuck Everyone.

The Bruins have been shamefully behind other organizations in responding to our current situation, and didn’t help themselves when they started speaking. Jacobs’ company, Delaware North, which owns the TD Garden released this statement, via

Effective April 1, 2020, 68 of our full-time salaried associates will be placed on temporary leave, receiving one week of paid leave and eight weeks of full benefits. Additionally, as of April 1, 2020, 82 of our full-time salaried associates will receive an indefinite salary reduction. Those associates not impacted by the temporary leave or salary reduction have employment contracts.

*Sorry, ONE week and then Fuck Everyone. If there’s ever a time to be fast and loose with your philanthropy, it’s now. Actually, I guess it’s not philanthropy if these people have a direct correlation to making you more money.

This stat really colors this policy:

Keep in mind, Dallas Stars executive Jim Lites and Jim Nill both took 50 percent pay cuts to help team employees. So did Penguins execs.

Bruins fans believe those TD Garden employees who feed them, get them hammered, and clean their puke out of the toilets deserve better. Because they do.

Shame, bro. Shame.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.