Cavs Fan Eats A Fistful Of Horse Crap Off The Street At Parade, Gives New Meaning To The Phrase ‘Cleveland Steamer’

“Yayyyy! We won a championship, our city doesn’t suck!”

“Yayy, America pities likes us!”

“CLEVELAND IS GOD’S COUNTR–wait, did that man just eat horse shit off the street?”

“I saw it too, Daryl.”

“I think we should call 911, that cannot be healthy.”

“You got a cell phone?”

“Nah. You?”

“Just a pager.”

“That works. Page them. Page 911.”


I wouldn’t be surprised if after Daryl paged 911, instead of an ambulance showing up, an EMT came galloping in on the same horse that dropped a Cleveland Steamer to take him to a pop up hospital.

For a city I’ve never been to, I’m giving Cleveland far too much shit. I bet it’s a pleasant place to pass through on your journey to somewhere that doesn’t suck horse ass. 

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.