Tuesday night’s Lakers vs. Bulls game was a perfect microcosm for a betting man’s life.
Say, for instance, you took the Lakers -7 against the Bulls at the United Center.
First Half: Chicago dropped 65 points, the Lakers looked like the Fakers and went down by 17 at halftime.
Bettor Emotions: fuck.
Third Quarter: LeBron plays nearly the entire quarter, Anthony Davis is having an off-night with four fouls. Lakers still down by 13 going into the final frame.
Bettor Emotions: *seriously considering abandoning the game and checking out what’s on PornHub*
Fourth Quarter: Lakers start Kyle Kuzma, Quinn Cook, Alex Caruso, Dwight Howard and Troy Daniels
Bettor Emotions: *begins typing ‘Lois from Family Guy’ into the PornHub search bar.
Three minutes and 48 seconds into Fourth Quarter: Lakers lead by 3.
Bettor Emotions: Holy shit.
20 seconds left in the Fourth: Lakers up 9.
Bettor Emotions: I LOVE THIS GAME! I’M GOING TO REMODEL MY HOME!!!
Insert Chandler Hutchison:
Aaaaand the Lakers win 118-112, failing to cover the seven point spread they didn’t deserve to cover for the first 40 minutes of the game anyway.
Please, above all, I ask you to keep this man who lost not one, not three, but five whole dollars due to Hutchison’s made three. So much for that Popeye’s Chicken Sandwich this poor bastard was planning on buying for lunch today.
Betting is an unforgiving endeavor.
[h/t For the Win]