This Rap Video From Heisman Runner-Up Christian McCaffrey Is So Unwatchable It’s A Must Watch

The brosephs over at TFM uncovered a rap video from the Stanford running back and Heisman Trophy runner-up Christian McCaffrey and it’s a fucking plane crash. The song has a flow equivalent to Green Mile Tom Hanks’ piss stream pre-miracle, the vocabulary of a member of the Avery family, the production value of a flip phone, do-it-yourself porno, and the street cred of Subway Jared. It’s a goddamn perfect storm of pathetic.

For a good looking Stanford student who set a regular season NCAA rushing record and topped it off with a MONSTER 368 all-purpose yard game in the Rose Bowl (also a record), I knew there had to be a kink in the armor. Never again, Christian. Sincerely, The World’s Population.

[h/t TFM]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.