The brosephs over at TFM uncovered a rap video from the Stanford running back and Heisman Trophy runner-up Christian McCaffrey and it’s a fucking plane crash. The song has a flow equivalent to Green Mile Tom Hanks’ piss stream pre-miracle, the vocabulary of a member of the Avery family, the production value of a flip phone, do-it-yourself porno, and the street cred of Subway Jared. It’s a goddamn perfect storm of pathetic.
For a good looking Stanford student who set a regular season NCAA rushing record and topped it off with a MONSTER 368 all-purpose yard game in the Rose Bowl (also a record), I knew there had to be a kink in the armor. Never again, Christian. Sincerely, The World’s Population.