Hilarious Poll Shows That Not Even The City Of Houston Believes They Have A Shot In Hell At Beating The Warriors

Typically, it is a fanbase’s duty to have blind, irrational confidence in their team, despite their team generally playing uninspired and backing into the playoffs. Since I moved to New York City, dumbass New Yorkers still believe that they can build a team around Carmelo Anthony despite going 32-50, 17-65, and 37-45 the past three seasons and Melo demonstrating the leadership skills of RGIII.

But blind fandom is what keeps our sanity intact and validates us pouring hours and hours into a team that’s had the success of Blockbuster Video the past several years. That’s why when a Houston TV station polled thousands of Houstonites (is that a word? Now it is) on the chances of them besting the record-setting Golden State Warriors in the first round of the playoffs, I’d expect them to abandon logic and pretend that this kind of lockdown defense will get them to where they want to go.


Quite the contrary. Check out the lopsided results below.

https://twitter.com/SoloDahSystem/status/720451979747663873

Apparently no one in Houston has ever seen The Shawshank Redemption. If they had, they would remember Andy Dufrense telling his buddy Red, “Hope is a good thing. Maybe the best of things. And no good thing ever dies.”

I guess they have every reason to leave their team hanging. What goes around comes around.

This just in: they’re coming around!!

That’s the spirit, Houston!

P.S. If Houston comes out of the tunnel to this song, I will drop my lifelong Celtics fandom and become a Rockets fan.

[h/t SB Nation]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.