Cleveland Weatherman Vows Not To Shave Until The Browns Win Their First Game, Is Totally F**ked
The Cleveland Browns are currently 0-12 and well on their way to securing a 0-and-16 season and tying the record set by the 2008 Detroit Lions. As a Tampa Bay Buccaneers fan, I’ve always taken perverse pride in the 0-and-14 record held by the Bucs (set in 1976, long before I was born) but it looks like Tampa’s record is about to lose all relevancy when there become TWO teams to go 0-and-16 in the modern era.
In an effort to show his unwavering support for the Cleveland Browns and complete disbelief that he’s rooting for the biggest dumpster fire in professional sports one Cleveland weatherman, FOX 8 meteorologist Steve Sabol, has vowed not to shave until the Browns win their first game. As noted by Andrew Lynch over on FoxSports.com this was a VERY bad idea.
This isn’t the NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs. There isn’t precedent for ‘not shaving until they win’ in the NFL, and this man whose livelihood is made by appearing on camera has totally fucked himself. Just look at his evolution:
Here he is in week 8:
And here’s Steve now, looking like a cross between an Amish 16-year-old and an NHL rookie:
The before/after is pretty incredible here:
On the plus side, he’ll at least be able to dress up as Santa Claus and not have to wear a fake beard. Though that perk only lasts another 19 days, and isn’t a perk at all because it involves kids crying on your lap while telling you some shit about how they want Minecraft.
I genuinely hope the Cleveland Browns win a game before the 2016-2017 NFL season is up because I love keeping the winless group of NFL teams elite. The Bucs and Lions in the modern era. Let’s keep it that way.