Cristiano Ronaldo Unveils ‘Horrifying’ Statue Of Himself Outside Airport That Was Named After Him

Cristiano Ronaldo got an airport named after him. Formerly known as Aeroporto da Madeira, the island has rebranded it Cristiano Ronaldo International Airport in honor of its most famous citizen.

The news surrounding the name change has been fogged by criticism of the bronze statue bust of Ronaldo that looks absolutely nothing like the 32-year-old Portuguese star. It looks like Ronaldo has been involved in a bad accident.

Octavio Passos/Getty Images

This is an accurate depiction of the Real Madrid forward–if he went four rounds with Tyson, got stung by a nest of hornets, and picked up a mean case of gingivitis. It is not known who the sculptor of this monstrosity is but I’d be willing to guess he’s the same artist who drew Tom Brady’s courtroom sketch.


Ronaldo has been known to pride himself on his appearance, and although he was all smiles at the ceremony, there is abolutely no doubt he’s going to have some words with the powers that be.

Cristiano has had some shit luck with statues. Check out this one outside his museum in Funchal. This is what he would would look like if he gave up soccer to become a coal miner.


As you can imagine, the Twitter machine is just getting started with skewering this nightmare fuel.

Poor thing. Oh he’s the highest player in Europe and earns $390,000 a week? I rescind my previous comment.

[h/t The Telegraph]

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.