This Crying 6-Year-Old Devastated By The Packers’ Loss Is A Moment Every Man Knows Too Well

Bros, I’m not going to lie to you. When my Seminoles were absolutely demolished by the feathered Nike shills from Oregon, I was feeling like this little kid (sans the tears of course, because I’m a grown ass man, and I only cry when puppies get hurt).

So I feel you Green Bay Nation, I’m right there with you…I do in fact intimately know dem feels. But I guess the difference between adulthood and being a 6-year-old is that your life doesn’t completely unravel at the seams to the point of tears when your team loses. Though I have to be honest with you, if one of those beotch mallards started riding a bicycle around the field I probably would have been compelled to buy a ticket to the National Championship just to get kicked out for throwing beers at players.

But let me get back to this kid, this poor kid, who’s caught on video completely torn to pieces by his beloved Packers’ shortcomings. This is a microcosm of SPORTS that every man comes to know at some point in his life, and it’s probably good that he learned this hurt at such a young age. So little bro, buck up, because today is the first day of the rest of your life, and your team is going to let you down A LOT harder than they did this year. At least they made the playoffs, which is more than ~90% of other fans can say…

Here’s a VINE of the bicycling in question, from Guyism alumnus A. Isaac:


And as it turns out, this is 2015, and the Internet is a loving place that nurtures to the point of absurdity (instead of bullies to the point of creating well-adjusted adults), and this kid SCORED A FREE BIKE from some crowd fund. I hate you Internet.

Actually, as I was out for my wedding/honeymoon, this is the first time I’ve had a chance to talk about my ‘Noles getting beaten to a bloody pulp in the Rose Bowl…so here it goes: everyone, including all Seminole fans, knew that this year’s team did not stack up to last year’s team in any way, shape, or form.

The talent we lost to the NFL was immeasurable, just look at what Kelvin Benjamin did this year as a rookie. BUT, we were undefeated, and we had the best player in college football calling the plays from the huddle, and you simply could not keep us out of the playoff for that reason alone. Next year will be incredible, we’ve got the weight of the world lifted off of our shoulders, no expectations at winning another Natty (though it’ll probably happen, we’ll definitely have that talent level), and we can get back to learning HOW to win, and not expecting TO win. End rant.