Soccer Star David Neres Slid Into A German Model’s DMs With A Serial Killer Line And Now They’re In Love

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Today In: How To Pick Up A Stranger As A Professional Athlete.

Step 1: Breathe.
Step 2: Repeat.

Exhibit 1,292,180: David Neres.

Neres, the 22-year-old Brazilian forward and club Ajax player, scooped up his current girlfriend–German model Kira Winona–by ushering a horse and carriage to her doorstep sliding into her DMs on Instagram with a line that sounds less like a romantic plea than it did an order.

In an interview with Het Parool, Neres said:

“German women apparently love Brazilian men.

“I found her on Instagram and sent a private message: ‘I am David Neres, come to me.’ That was enough for a date.”

(Are we sure this isn’t a hostage situation?)

And wa-lah!

When given the opportunity to sing Winona’s praises, the Ajax star decided to go a different route and heave praise upon himself.

Chalk this up to a win for the Girls Love Assholes team!

Challenge: DM a random Instagram model (synonym: girl with an Instagram account) and use the following line: “I am (your name), come to me.” Send me a screenshot of the results and I’ll frame it in my office.

[h/t SportBible]

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