Dez Bryant Caves In To PETA And Gives Up His Pet Monkey Then Gets Spanked By The Savage Internet

Back in October 2015, Dez Bryant posted an Instagram pic of him holding a monkey to welcome him to his family. A couple weeks later in early November 2015, PETA responded with an article demanding the Dallas Cowboys wide receiver give up his monkey because he can’t possibly give the monkey what it needs. Nine months later, Bryant has complied, according to Pro Football Talk.

In PETA’s November 2015 article, they went on to say the monkey belongs in a special sanctuary equipped to handle such a specimen and even wrote a letter to an admin for code enforcement. An official statement is below.

“Monkeys belong in the wild—not in the hands of football players who acquire exotic animals just to make a splash on Instagram,” says PETA Foundation Deputy Director of Captive Animal Law Enforcement Brittany Peet. “This baby capuchin was torn away from his mother shortly after birth and needs special care that can now only be provided by wildlife experts who will be able to ensure that he gets the love and attention he deserves.”

Torn away, eh? PETA always knows how to escalate the situation. Even the animals are like, pump the brakes.

Bryant told a Dallas radio station and newspaper that he gave the capuchin monkey to a friend, adding “…the monkey was one of us. He got pure-A1 treatment.” Which, I will interpret as Bryant dousing the furry critter in A-1 steak sauce while making him watch that monkey-brain-eating scene from Indiana Jones. Tough love, bruh.

The comments on this PFT article are off the charts…

realtruthteller100 says:

“cant say im suprised here. dez takin after his father and abandoning his son.”

*cringe* After reading that, I made the noise that Peter Griffin makes after he falls and hurts his knee. Jeeeeeeeez. Who hurt you, dude?

richardparker123 says:

“Ol’ Dez has a history of slapping things around (see: his own mother) so I can’t say I blame PETA for looking out for his best interest. Season distractions like slapping the monkey can be problematic.”

“Slapping Things: The Dez Bryant Diaries” coming to a Barnes & Noble never.

handsofsteelheartofstone says:

“bryant is the pet monkey. he belongs to Jerrah. and if you think that ANY “friend” of his is anything less than a monkey themselves, well your probably a cowboys fan.

i just dont understand how anyone in their right mind can support that organization. its ALMOST as immoral as being a patriots fan”

I assume Jerrah is Jerry Jones? Is that the worst representation of a Texan accent ever? I legit thought Jerrah was like the new Allah. ISIS and ISIL got me buggin’.

elmogotagun says:

“Please tell me he did not give the monkey to Rolando McClain. The monkey is a big help for people with disabilities, not mental retardation and codeine addiction. Unless, u want to see it turn into the same monkey as the Hangover II.”

Absolute mic drop. Rolando McClain was probably reading this and chuckling then got to this comment and was like, “What? How the hell did I get pulled into this? *sips purple drank* Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.”

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