Dirk Nowitzki Attempting A Bicycle Kick During A Charity Soccer Game Makes Me Feel A Little More Athletic

And here is trying to hit a penalty kick.

I really can’t tell if Dirk Nowitzki‘s even trying here. I also definitely will not admit how many I’ve already misspelled ‘Nowitzki’ since I started writing this post, but I will say that it was enough times to make me just start referring to him on a first name basis. Listen, I have a lot of respect for Dirk. Sure, it’s partly because he’s one of the best basketball players of all time, but it also stems from him having one of the best lines in cinematic history.

Still butthurt that he didn’t get an Oscar nod for that one. But honestly, I really can’t tell if he’s kidding or not. I mean, was he trying to kick it sideways or did he really think he could get his entire seven foot frame up and under that ball? I kind of hope so. Because if that’s what a Hall of Famer looks like playing a different sport, maybe I just haven’t found my professional sports niche yet. Maybe I’m meant to be a polo player or like a professional chess player. Sure, I’ve never won a game of chess, but also, I’ve never played anyone worse than me. That’s the real key to nontraditional athletic success. Playing people worse than you. You don’t need to play the best in the world to win championships and get babes. You just gotta win a trophy.