An Olympic Skier Who Does Not Possess Olympic Skills Was Able To Compete After Working The System

The Winter Olympics end on February 25, so we only have five more days of pretending these people are the ‘greatest athletes on the planet.’ Not to dampen the achievements of Winter Olympians, but I don’t know one person who has ever shot a gun while snow-shoeing, never mind claimed to be an elite athlete because of it. We don’t say Morten Anderson is the best football player of all-time just because he’s the best kicker, so I refuse to say the best curler in the world is somehow the best athlete. Rant over.

And what chaps my ass more than the over-glorification of the Winter Olympics is gaming the Winter Olympics. And that’s what Elizabeth Swaney did. Swaney is an American skiing for Hungary and managed to secure a spot  on the team with the skiing ability you see below.

Anyone whose taken a rudimentary ski course or spent a half day on the slopes could have produced a similar run. So how was Swaney able to secure herself a spot in the most prestigious Winter sporting extravaganza this planet has to offer?

The 33-year-old from Oakland, California was able to weasel her way in due to the perfect storm of factors listed below:

1.) Women’s half pipe skiing is a relatively new event and Swaney was up against only 25 to 28 other women at World Cup events, according to the Denver Post. At last December’s World Cup in China Swaney finished 13 out of 15 competitors, her best career finish.

2.) Swaney paid a lot of money to attend every World Cup event she could to increase her odds.

3.) She doesn’t do any tricks, so she doesn’t get point deductions without falling or failing.

The internet exploded over the electric run.

https://twitter.com/billbarnwell/status/965685576577044480

That’s it. I’m quitting my job and devoting my time to snowman making.

Alternative take: she’s a genius and doing what I would have done if I were a bit more intrepid.

[h/t Uproxx]