I consider hockey to be the 21st century answer to the Ancient Roman gladiator tournaments. Either that or Quidditch. Big, angry men competing against each other in an enclosed arena surrounded by screaming spectators. The competitor’s inability to succeed unless they possess a specific set of skills. Full-scale brawls that end in the spilling of blood. You see where I’m going with this?
Which is why I’m so disheartened to see a couple of hockey players in the European league not fight each other after exchanging blows on the ice.
Look, I kind of get it. In the European League, you will get ejected and more than likely will also get suspended. No one wants to be suspended. But also, no one wants to see someone drop their gloves and then not throw a punch. That’s some juniors shit. Especially since both of these dudes called each other’s bluff. Both thought the other one was going to punch first. Nope. Sorry fellas. You’re both taking the high road. Are we witnessing the beginning of the end of hockey due to masculine pussification? I don’t want to watch hockey and not see dudes get their teeth knocked out. What is this? Golf? I’m here for one reason and one reason only: Modern-day gladiators. And if I can’t get that, I’m going to have start finding homeless people and paying them to fight each other. And I don’t want that. No one wants that.