You have to promise me that if you ever go viral for something that paints you in a negative light, you follow these instructions:
1.) Take the battery out of your phone and lock it in a drawer that only your most trusted confidante knows the code to.
2.) Avoid going outside for one (1) 24-hour news cycle.
3.) Go back to living your life, business as usual. Just smarter.
Deyvi Andrade disobeyed me, and it just earned him his second trip to L-Town in a week.
You may remember Deyvi, the guy who was bagged by television cameras giving the “oh, fuck” face after kissing a woman during Ecuador’s Noche Amarilla 2020 soccer match.
Despite the news breaking Monday, the world was primed to be distracted by the next dumb thing, so Mr. Andrade should have just hunkered down and weathered the storm.
He did not.
Instead, he gave a convoluted victim speech on social media that managed to shame woman and praise God simultaneously. Impressive actually.
In a Facebook and Instagram post translated by Metro, Deyvi wrote:
‘If it was a woman was in my place what would you do?’
‘Various videos have been circulating of unfaithful women but they haven’t been made fun of as much as me. I hope you never have to be in my position.’ (edited)
Yes, victimize an entire gender. This should play out well.
‘I’m going to defend my honour and my pride as a man until the end… ‘We all fail and we all repent, thank you to those who have invited me to church and if I go it is so I can heal my family.
‘No one is going to be able to damage my image, God is big and strong and these women who are criticising me, I know too have cheated but they still comment.’
TL:DR–“God give me the strength to keep my pecker in my pants.”
Mr. Andrade also confirmed that his relationship with not the woman in the video is shattered.
‘You’ve already destroyed my relationship, what more do you want?,’ Deyvi adds.
To Deyvi’s credit, he’s stopped all the God talk and seems to now be relishing in his newfound fame.
He’s begun sharing the memes people have created from the incident on his Instagram page.
Let this be a lesson to the cheaters out there. Cross your eyes and dot your Ls.