The Internet Was Swept Into A Panic With The Unfounded Odell Beckham Jr. Trade Rumors

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Gather around, folks. Today’s lesson is Internet Gullibility 101. Travis, stop rolling your boogers and sticking them under the desk, please. I shouldn’t have to tell you again.

The first requirement of Internet Gullibility is the plant. The plant is used to create buzz around a hot topic and must be generated by a user with a blue checkmark. It is made more believable if said user has a cartoon caricature of their face as their profile photo and lede that states they have a voice worth sharing (podcast or radio preferred).

Exhibit A:

Blue checkmark: Check
Cartoon Caricature: Negative
Profile Lede: Check…

The Official Twitter of America’s Most Infamous Sports Radio Host — @CanesfootballLegend/ @NFLPA-WFL-@CFL-@OfficialAFL Alumni

This one tweet announcing that the Browns are shopping Odell Beckham Jr. to the Eagles, 49ers, and Patriots (who have a total of $6 remaining in cap spend), spawned out to generate intended buzz to seemingly legitimate sports outlets.


From there, the rumor is molded into fact by every Tom, Dick and Jerry in America.

(A famous athlete helps to fuel the fire.)

And the final stage of the Internet Gullibility lifecycle: Enlightenment.

Moral of the story: Edgar Allen Poe famously once said, “Believe nothing that you hear and only one half what you see.” In internet speak, that translates to ‘Believe nothing that you hear or see on the internet and call anyone who disagrees with your world view a “fucking loser” on social media.”

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.