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Gather around, folks. Today’s lesson is Internet Gullibility 101. Travis, stop rolling your boogers and sticking them under the desk, please. I shouldn’t have to tell you again.
The first requirement of Internet Gullibility is the plant. The plant is used to create buzz around a hot topic and must be generated by a user with a blue checkmark. It is made more believable if said user has a cartoon caricature of their face as their profile photo and lede that states they have a voice worth sharing (podcast or radio preferred).
Exhibit A:
.@Browns are listening to offers for #OBJ is true!…. @Patriots @Eagles @49ers
— #BigSilz (@DanSileoShow) October 8, 2019
Blue checkmark: Check
Cartoon Caricature: Negative
Profile Lede: Check…
The Official Twitter of America’s Most Infamous Sports Radio Host — @CanesfootballLegend/ @NFLPA-WFL-@CFL-@OfficialAFL Alumni
This one tweet announcing that the Browns are shopping Odell Beckham Jr. to the Eagles, 49ers, and Patriots (who have a total of $6 remaining in cap spend), spawned out to generate intended buzz to seemingly legitimate sports outlets.
Browns are Reportedly Listening to Trade Offers from Multiple Teams for Odell Beckham https://t.co/2SbdYgKQ2e
— NFL Draft Diamonds (@DraftDiamonds) October 10, 2019
FANSIDED
From there, the rumor is molded into fact by every Tom, Dick and Jerry in America.
(A famous athlete helps to fuel the fire.)
Trade OBJ to the @Raiders if the Browns tryna make a move.
— Damian Lillard (@Dame_Lillard) October 9, 2019
https://twitter.com/SavageBoston/status/1181954048142053377?s=20
@obj facilitate trade to New England bro🙏 destiny calls it..
— Punit Patel (@punitr) October 9, 2019
Odell Beckham tries to join the 49ers after the game pic.twitter.com/jjyqW3TBNo
— Rev. Eric Dunn (@ericvdunn) October 8, 2019
@Raiders the @Browns are listening to trade offers and rumor to trade @obj we need to grab him !!!
— Bobby Hustle 🏴☠️🏴☠️ (@OTRHustle) October 9, 2019
Patriots have inquired about the availability of Odell Beckham Jr., per source. pic.twitter.com/7T8RAwP2rV
— Boston Cream 🍩 (@itsbostoncream) October 9, 2019
And the final stage of the Internet Gullibility lifecycle: Enlightenment.
Moral of the story: Edgar Allen Poe famously once said, “Believe nothing that you hear and only one half what you see.” In internet speak, that translates to ‘Believe nothing that you hear or see on the internet and call anyone who disagrees with your world view a “fucking loser” on social media.”