You have to be a special kind of angry to beat your own body as punishment. Like I get why that albino hitman did it in Da Vinci Code. Imagine looking like that and being that insane 24/7? I’d beat myself up too. But being overtly ugly and weird is probably my line. Most else I could live with to an extent.
Jeff “Shark” Samardzija, it seems, is a lot less self-forgiving than I am, as evident by the fact that he used his leg to decimate a wooden bat after striking out in the 8th:
Sure, RIP that bat. But really, RIP his leg. Like I said, I’ve never done anything like that because I consider my body a temple completely void of self-hatred, but I can’t imagine that’s not an immediate dead leg. Mobsters use wooden bats on people as a form of punishment and Sharks used it on himself on purpose. That’s some sadist shit. He’s probably the kind of guy who will make his kids pick and carry out their own punishments when they do something wrong. “Ok daddy, so since you caught me stealing out of the cookie jar, I think it’s only fair that I give myself 30 lashes on each hand with a stick of bamboo. 30 because there are 3 syllables in the phrase ‘cookie jar’ and also because I used 10 fingers to try and do something wrong.” This isn’t the first time Sharks has done their either. This has been going on for a long time. Really, we have to be careful for this guy. Pretty soon he’ll be stepping in front of pitches on purpose because he feels as if he is unworthy to punish himself. I don’t want to watch a man end up in a wheelchair on national television because he exposed the back of his neck to a professionally thrown fastball. And, honestly, I don’t think any of you do either.