Jerry Jones Couldn’t Help But Take A Swipe At Ben DiNucci After Sunday Night Football Loss

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If you told Ben DiNucci when he was slanging footballs against North Dakota State that in just one year, he’d victimized by the Jerry Jones Treatment, he probably would have gotten a job at Enterprise.

No one expected the 23-year-old James Madison product to move mountains in his first NFL game (nationally-televised no less), but DiNucci’s 21-for-40, 180 yard, two fumble, zero touchdown performance prompted some patronizing criticism from Mr. Jones.

“Well, I think it was a lot for him,” Jones said. “I think we certainly, as a team, paid the price to have him come in under those circumstances, and that’s almost trite. It was, frankly, more than he could handle. I don’t know what you could have expected for somebody to come in under those circumstances.”

Translation: “Poor widdle baby was too fragile to survive his first NFL game. Could we expect anything more from a drooling, pooping widdle baby waby? Isn’t he cute though?” 

Dak Prescott’s ankle falls off. Andy Dalton gets nearly decapitated and no one on the Cowboys offense comes to his defense. And you expect your seventh round pick to waltz under center and channel his inner Troy Aikman like he’s back playing against the Elon Phoenix? Don’t be senile, Jerry.

The good news is that DiNucci may have a chance to redeem himself next week against the only undefeated team in the league in the Steelers.

If only Jason Garrett was around to clap away the problems. 

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.