High School Football Coach Suspended For Allegedly Exposing Himself In The Most WTF?!?! Way Ever

Jim Sharkey

Ferris High School (located in Spokane, WA) has suspended football coach Jim Sharkey amidst allegations that he exposed himself to football players at a leadership camp last summer. So what does that mean? Well, I think we all know that means “he whipped his dick out,” but Sharkey allegedly went above and beyond just pulling out his peen.

According to The Spokesman Review

A couple of weeks after the camp, a Ferris player came forward and said that while Sharkey was grilling, he turned with his exposed penis inside a hot dog bun. Sharkey said, “You think that is a big dog – take a look at this,” according to school records that listed multiple different versions of the same quote.

Yes, you read that correctly. He is accused of putting his dick in a hot dog bun and showing it to teenagers. And more than one player is claiming it happened.

While the coach got a written reprimand and was allowed to coach this past fall, school officials placed him on administrative leave Feb. 1 after more players claimed to have seen the hot dog incident and other students brought up separate incidents of questionable behavior by the 11-year teacher and coach.

Of course this could be some kind of attempt by players to get Sharkey fired, but you have to take their allegations seriously. And you have to consider these other “things” that have taken place under Sharkey’s watch.

The records show more students came forward to say they witnessed the hot dog incident. A girl also complained that Sharkey called her a “puck slut” or “puck bunny,” because she was friends with Spokane Chiefs hockey players, most of whom attend Ferris.

Not a great look for Sharkey, but perhaps the worst thing that is allegedly happening during his reign as head football coach is something he claims to have zero knowledge of. Something referred to as “juicing” and sadly has nothing to do with steroid abuse. Because that would be better.

Another football player also alleged that he knew of “four or five” times that players would gang up and dog pile a player on his birthday and they would shove their fingers up the player’s anus, something the players called “juicing.” The player also made it clear that no coaches or adults were around during those incidents.

As for the allegation of players “juicing” other players on their birthdays, Sharkey denied that as well.

“I would not allow this. No way,” according to the notes. “You better have dates and times of the juicing – if you say 10-15 times – you just better be able to tell me exactly when, who.”

WHAT. THE. FUCK. If my son came home and told me that other kids on his team forcibly stuck their fingers up his ass, my kid would be the only kid left on the football team without all of his fucking fingers cut off.

Even through all of this, Sharkey maintains his innocence.

“This is a witch hunt,” Sharkey said in the notes. “I do a lot for this school. It is going to be difficult to replace me at this time.

“This is my life – this is all I do.”

Hate to break this news to you, Jim, but replacing you is the easiest think this school has to do in all of this. I’m pretty sure I can coach a high school football team to a 5-5 record (his 2016 record) and I haven’t played organized football in well over a decade.

All that said, for everyone’s sake, I hope these allegations are false. The dick slung inside a hot dog bun, the “juicing,” all of it.

[H/T The Spokesman Review via Deadspin]