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There are so many things in life you don’t realize you took for granted until you suddenly find yourself without them, and over the past month or so, I’ve found myself pining for things like “paying $13 for a cocktail” and “human contact” and “the ability to venture outside without being crippled by the fear of dying.”
It’s also been almost three weeks since sports essentially vanished over the course of a 24-hour period that saw basically every major organization pull the emergency brake, which resulted in every single person who wasn’t alive during World War II being suddenly confronted with an unprecedented void.
Various players in the sports broadcasting world have done what they can to address the problem, as CBS decided to air some classic March Madness games and ESPN adjusted its programming schedule to bring us the highly-awaited Bulls documentary a bit early after making the boneheaded decision to start airing Disney sports movies and neglecting to include Air Bud.
Joe Buck also stepped up to the plate when he asked people to send him videos of what they’re doing while stuck at home so he could provide some play-by-play for our enjoyment, which has produced some objectively delightful content.
Ok Mardy. (I can only hear that in an Ozark twang). Here ya go! Now donate something!!!!!! pic.twitter.com/Pt4Q0bA0wA
— Joe Buck (@Buck) March 24, 2020
Watch out Breen…if @foxsports ever gets @NBA, I'm getting ready. @AdamHoge, tag a charity and then maybe order your kid a present to make him feel better after this one 🏀. pic.twitter.com/WJMGnrmBsa
— Joe Buck (@Buck) March 24, 2020
I have a feeling @letitflytom has won his fair share of drinks with skills like this. @PatrickMahomes would be proud. Let us know who you are donating to @letiflytom #bluesbrothers 🎯 pic.twitter.com/WyrkK0hPB6
— Joe Buck (@Buck) March 24, 2020
Sure, they’re not the most groundbreaking things in the world but this is the kind of wholesome stuff a lot of us could use right now.
However, during a recent interview with KMOX, Buck revealed that some of the videos he’s been sent have been anything but wholesome, as a bunch of people apparently decided to shoot their shot in the hopes the announcer would lend his voice to a video of them doin’ it:
“I’ve received quite a few and you have to be careful.
You have to go through these videos like the Zapruder film because you’re worried there’s going to be something in the background, there’s going to be something hidden like a Highlights Magazine that we should not focus on, but it’s still there and it becomes some Internet thing where I put my voice to something that I shouldn’t have.
I’ve had a couple of submissions from let’s say, a man and a woman, that just didn’t seem appropriate to put my voice to in this stage of my life. Maybe later in life, but not now. I look at these videos very carefully and pick the ones that seem the most wholesome to put my voice to.”
It sounds like someone needs an OnlyFans.