Thoughts And Prayers Go Out To Johnny Cueto For The Loss Of His Horse, Whose Dead Body He Posted On Instagram

MLB: San Francisco Giants at Arizona Diamondbacks

USA Today

There’s no bond quite like man and pet. Specifically man and horse. I mean, look at the love shared here:

Amazing. Sure, dogs are man’s best friend, but everyone has dogs. Those relationships are a dime a dozen. It’s like affluent white women and pink wine. The bonds worth talking about are the ones less happened upon. Like the one between Giants starting pitcher Johnny Cueto and his horse Popeye. Unfortunately, Cueto lost his dear horse to the cruel world, a fact he posted on Instagram for us all to see.

For everyone wondering, yes, Cueto named his horse Popeye after his favorite restaurant. While funny, it dredges up old memories of Ted’s Fish Fry, my dead parrot, and Sexploratorium, my pet hamster from high school who ran away one night while I was jerking off uh, I mean watching Sportscenter. If you love someone, name them after the place your frequent the most, that way you’re always ‘home’. That’s why I’ll probably name my oldest son ‘closet I cry in when my ex posts a sexy Instagram showing off all the weight she lost since she dumped me’. Little wordy? Sure, but that’s what nicknames are for. Regardless, Ts&Ps to the Cueto family. Sure, he got mad likes on his Instagram, but at what cost?

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