Kyler Murray Measured At 5-Foot-10 1/8 At The NFL Scouting Combine And Twitter Exploded With The Funnies

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America is in desperate need of some NFL storylines that don’t involve a senior citizen getting tugged off, and Kyler Murray provided just that.

The Heisman Trophy winner was officially measured at the NFL scouting combine to decide once and for all whether he’s too short to play quarterback in the NFL. Because scouting assessments are never wrong.

The verdict: The Oklahoma product is officially 5-foot-10.1, which equates to 5-foot-10 1/8 inches. 5-foot-10 1/8 inches is what I tell girls on Tinder when their bios say ‘Short Guys Need Not Apply.’  He also weighed in at 207 pounds (comparable to Russell Wilson) and his hands measured 9 4/8 inches (comparable to Patrick Mahomes).

Murray is officially the shortest quarterback that has been measured at the combine since 2003. He’s a half-inch shorter than Russell Wilson’s official measurement. The 21-year-old’s measurements will be talked about ad nauseam on every hot take sports show for the next several days, and after I post these funny Twitter memes about the situation, I am exiting the discussion. I hope you will follow me out of the Trivial Territory.

A good hearty chuckle. Now we can all move on.

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Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.