As Americans sit on the sidelines with our collective thumbs up our asses to watch the world duke it out at the World Cup, we feel the compulsive need to insert ourselves into the narrative somehow. WE ARE AMERICA GODDAMNIT.
And for the sixteen Americans who tuned in to watch Panama play in its first-ever World Cup Monday against Belgium, they succeeded in making the tournament about the U-S-of-A. Turns out, Panama midfielder Gabriel Gomez is an exact replica of Celtics guard Kyrie Irving (mixed with a dusting of Arian Foster).
Pretty spot on, no?
Props to the entire United States’ soccer community for hopping on Twitter to make light of the important news.
Belgium went on to win, 3-0. Apologies, Kyrie.
[h/t Total Pro Sports]