Emotional Mark Teixeira Turns On The Waterworks At Retirement Press Conference, Hates Training Room In Detroit

New York Yankees switch-hitting first baseman Mark Teixeira started off his retirement press conference by stating the Teixeiras are criers and he wasn’t lying. Here’s just a short clip from his address to the media.

Tex is 36 years old and had been battling injuries all season, which he noted as one of the main reasons why he’s hangin’ ’em up. Mark expressed that he’s a family man who’d much rather spend time watching his kids’ dance recitals and stage plays than sitting in a training room in Detroit, which leads me to believe that the training room in Detroit is not up to code? Maybe missing some essential medical supplies? Just a hunch.

This announcement comes two days after he smacked a dinger off of — then got plugged by — New York Mets pitcher Steven Matz, which some believe caused him to miss the following matchup. That same game saw Tex pretending to steal signs on second base with Mets relief pitcher Hansel Robles, who nearly lost his melon, on the mound.

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The three-time All-Star and five-time Gold Glover led the league in home runs and RBI in his first year with the Yanks in 2009, the same year they won the World Series over the Phillies. He also might have the most preposterous nostrils in the entire history of the game. Talking Patrick Ewing-level nose-holes.

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