I know what you’re thinking, but this is not an old statue of some random player from the leather helmet era wearing old-timey boxing gloves. Nope. According to BSO, this is a 5’2″ wooden sculpture of Lions QB Matthew Stafford, one that can creepily sit on your mantel for a mere $1,500 if your goal this Christmas is to ruin everyone else’s Christmas. Wouldn’t you rather just place Muggsy Bogues on your mantel? Then again, that’s probably more expensive.
Wow, look at that face. Imagine waking up to this nightmare fuel knowing that you or someone else spent $1,500 to look at this thing? You’d be right back under the covers. Or in this morning’s case, berating the shit out of it even though Stafford wasn’t part of the embarrassing defense that allowed the amazing Rodgers to Rodgers hail mary.
I do love that the ball appears to be punctured and, with a stance like that, this wooden asshole clearly has no intention of ever throwing the football. In light of that, I’ve changed my mind. This ugly monstrosity serves as beautiful, symbolic art.
[H/T BSO]