This Bonehead Minnesota United Soccer Goalie Should Probably Just Retire After This Mind-Boggling Blunder

There are very few plays in soccer I find post-worthy. My soccer friends call me a “scoring glutton” American who just doesn’t understand the beauty of soccer. Point taken, but I cringe  every time I see a professional soccer player lay down and fake it more than my ex-girlriend. I can’t help but believe that the field is 200% too large for the game being played, which may be why they score a goal once every leap year. I know I’m the minority in this belief. I’m the asshole.

But this Minnesota United FC goalie may have just converted me. What a goddamn bonehead. Had to have money on the game, right? Had to. Love soccer. Love soccer so much.

Wait, nevermind, still hate soccer.

[h/t Deadspin]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.