MLS Is Serving Its Players Legitimately Laughable Fyre Fest-Caliber Meals

by 3 days ago

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From everything I’ve heard, the NBA Bubble City in Orlando sounds like an adult fairytale land. DJs and exclusive film premieres and Michelin Star chefs and pedicures. Amenities out the wazoo. Disney is going above and beyond to make sure those players competing in the restart are as comfortable, relaxed, and as entertained as possible. When these guys aren’t ballin’, they’re gonna be straight chillin’. If I was an NBA player, I’d be down for the Bubble City in a heartbeat.

Then there’s whatever the hell is going at the Major League Soccer’s bubble just up the road, which appears to be serving their players Fyre Fest-esque, ultra-depressing lunches just a mere few days into the experiment.

Is it surprising that MLS players aren’t being treated with the some sort of class and decadence as their basketball-playing counterparts? Of course not! But to see an MLS player as prominent as Omar Gonzalez already voicing his displeasure with the state of the catering is not necessarily what you want to see.

Just wait until these dudes have been cooped up with each other for a couple of weeks and suffer a few consecutive losses just to be handed a turkey sandwich (store brand, not Boar’s Head), a Kool-Aid and a room temperature parfait. All hell may break loose inside of that little soccer bubble. Weapons will be fashioned, tribes will be formed, and the first group to successfully mount Alexi Lalas’ ginger head on a spike will be crowned MLS 2020 Champions.

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Eric is a New York City-based writer who still isn’t quite sure how he’s allowed to have this much fun for a living and will tell anyone who listens that Gotham City is canonically in New Jersey. Follow him on Twitter @eric_ital for movie and soccer takes or contact him eric@brobible.com


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