Olympic Equestrian Flips Over His Horse After It Had A Sudden Change Of Heart And Stopped Short Of The Hurdles

Wow what a dick. If the horse didn’t want to compete in the most prestigious sporting platform on the planet, he could have spoken up before subjecting his partner to shack up in the Rio shithole quarters for a week. Instead the dude went full passive aggressive and decided to shame the poor bastard in front of 43 fans when it mattered most. Relentless.

As to the motive behind the launch, we can only speculate. I have compiled a list of 5 possible motives for the horse to embarrass it’s long-time partner, named Ruy Fonseca, on the biggest day of his life.

1.) The horse just found out Ruy rode Seabiscuit before they met.
2.) The horse got word some Rio gypsies were stealing his valuables in the barracks.
3.) The horse just got a ‘You up?’ text from a Brazilian horse with the huge ass he met in Olympic Village.
4.) The horse heard mom yell from the stands that she’s making pizza rolls.
5.) Ruy farted on his back.

Regardless of the reason, the horse has some explaining to do or else it’s probably going to be sent to the glue factory.

[h/t For the Win]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.