Pats Bro Got ‘Tom Brady’ Tattooed On The Inside Of His Lip To Presumably Increase His Cunnilingus Skills

by 5 years ago
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Tom Brady is a fucking CHAMP. He’s more of a winner than you’ll ever be. If you’re ever lucky enough to sniff his jockstrap, well, that alone will be enough to make you double the man you were before sucking his noxious nut sweat into your lungs.

Just speaking the name ‘Tom Brady’ out loud makes you more of a fucking winner then 99.9% of every man who ever walked this earth. Therefore, it logic dictates that if you’re having trouble in the muff diving department getting the name ‘Tom Brady’ tattooed on your inner lip will suddenly give you the cunnilingus skills of a young Ron Jeremy.

In fact, having Tom Brady tattooed on your inner lip might imbue you with a pussy-eating-power so strong that by whistling the ‘Oscar Mayer Weiner’ jingle, you’ll send out a tidal wave of eargasms through the Eastern seaboard so strong that the streets of Boston will actually flood (from you know exactly what I’m talking about).

Now that’s a POWER MOVE if I’ve ever seen one. They say that tattoos on your inner lip don’t last as long as a normal tattoo, that somehow the link gets sucked out over time, but think of the possibilities there!

You’re going down on some chick and ink emblazoned with the name of the holiest of holies is actually secreting onto her nether regions. On some level you’re actually tattooing the name ‘Tom Brady’ on every chick you ever go down on, as you transfer the ink….now that’s some DANGEROUS power right there.

Boston Magazine is reporting that this has something to do with football, and not the sexual dynamo that is Tom Brady, but maybe after reading this they’ll change their minds. Here’s what they have to say:

It’s just two days before the AFC Championship, and Pats fan Johnny Nichols has the right idea. The 21-year-old from Waltham got “Tom Brady” tattooed on the inside of his lip to support the Pats this weekend. And the best part is that he got the tattoo in Bali, Indonesia. Whaaaat.

“Have to represent from 9,000 miles away!” he told us. Nichols has been traveling for the past few months, traveling to Thailand before going to Bali. “I’m really into surfing,” he said, and also admits he wanted to miss out on the cold weather. Again, this guy has the right idea.

“You ever wake up one morning after a crazy night and just realize you have Tom Brady tattooed on your lip?…I did…LETS GO PATS!” he wrote on his Facebook page.

For more on the bro with the most powerful lips in the civilized world, you can head on over to Boston Magazine by clicking HERE.

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