Paul Pierce Has On-Air Epiphany That The Sixers Team He’s Criticizing Actually Won By 35

ESPN


Paul Pierce is one of the most under-appreciated, unjustly mocked stars of our generation. You need a wheelchair to roll you into the handicapped stall to unleash hell mid-game ONE TIME in 19 seasons and you are the social media punching bag for the next two decades.

Let the record show that in the late 90s and early 2000s, Pierce never forced his way out of a deplorable Celtics franchise that plucked Marty Conlon from his off-Broadway rendition of Jersey Boys and onto an NBA roster.

That kind of loyalty is viewed as a weakness from a generation that can’t even commit to a currency. What the fuck is dogecoin and how many can I buy with this Pizza Hut gift card?

THAT BEING SAID, there is only so much I can do for my man when he appears on national television to give expert analysis on a game he not only never watched, but didn’t bother to even check who won.

Sixers: 134, Spurs: 99

The internet let the slip-up slide and moved on to something else. Ehhh, not so fast.

I need a palate cleanser.