Sports

Phil Mickelson’s Chiseled Calves Are Going Viral And Johnny Drama Is Somewhere Salivating

by

Harry How/Getty Images


The PGA Tour approved a change in their Player Appearance guidelines that allowed for players to wear golf shorts during practice and pro-am rounds in Naucalpan and Puerto Rico on Monday. The tour required shorts to be knee length, tailored, and neat in appearance.

The amendment allowed for the two Christmas hams inserted into Phil Mickelson’s lower legs to get some fresh air.

I had no idea what toxic masculinity was until I saw Phil in shorts.

My girlfriend just broke up with me so she could date this photo. She’s taking all my sweatshirts too.

Somewhere in Hollywood, Johnny Drama is desperately trying to get a hold of Phil Mickelson so he can find out the identity of the miracle worker who turned Phil’s calves into chiseled boulders.

I mean shit Phil’s calves are thicker than John Daly’s midsection.

The internet was equally as aroused as I was. Did I say aroused? That’s not what I meant.

https://twitter.com/GabrielDJohnson/status/1097598534608736257

Jesus Phil, leg day much?

 

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.
Tags