When I was 6 I went to a Yankee game with my dad and sat in the bleachers. It was the first and last time we sat there because 1) The fans in front of us were so drunk they fell backwards and spilled beer all over my 4 year-old brother and 2) Because a year later our neighbors got season tickets and we’ve kind of been riding that wave ever since. Regardless, the reason this was such a monumental day in my life was because around 6th inning, Jorge Posada beaned a ball into the bleachers. At least I think it was Posada. Again, I was 6. Regardless, the ball popped up and came down against the sun. A guy two rows below me was so drunk he was just able to lift his head in time for the ball to make direct contact with his forehead. Blood everywhere. The pregnant woman sitting behind him puked after seeing all of the blood. I’m still not completely convinced I didn’t watch a man die that day. It was such a direct hit, I wouldn’t be surprised if on his deathbed, Posada admits that he was aiming for the guy. Pretty much ruined baseball for me for a few years. Which is really a shame, because I was robbed of enjoying America’s pastime because some drunk was unable to protect his face. Even if he used his forearm as a shield and allowed the ball to bounce off of it things would have turned out better. But alas, he instead decided to use his face as a landing pad.
Which is mostly why I’m this excited about some random fan at the Phillies game snagging a flyball before it rearranged his wife’s face. Well, I’m assuming it was his wife. They have to at least be together. Why else would a woman be sitting alone on an aisle seat? Let’s just put it this way, if they weren’t together, they are now.
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This guy gets it:
Honestly, this guy is a hero. He just saved baseball for countless young fans. He doesn’t even realize how many people’s lives he has changed. And he doesn’t even want the recognition. That’s what this world needs more of. Keep your missionaries and charity workers. I want more old men with A+ hand-eye coordination. Sure, he’s no Superman, but where was Superman when I watched a man die in front of me and had baseball ruined for me? Not at Yankee Stadium, that’s for sure. I just hope that this guy at least got a beej or something for doing God’s work. He saved that woman’s skull from turning into a stained glass window. The least she can do is put his dick in her mouth.