I Definitely Feel Better About My Life After Watching This Pirates Fan Cover Himself In Nachos And Beer

So this guy’s never getting laid again. There’s no recovering from that. The guy will be at a bar asking random chicks to sit on his face and they’ll laugh him off with a comment about not wanting to get nacho cheese all up in their lady parts because it stings. Listen, I’ve done things without fully thinking it through, but this is on another level. “Oh, foul ball incoming, gonna jump for that even though I’m holding a tray of $10 nachos and a $12 beer.” It’s kind of like when a guy buys his side chick flowers but uses his main chick’s credit card. Like everyone knows that’s ending poorly. It’s really just a matter of when.