Who Ya Got: 2 Professional Liverpool Soccer Players Vs. 30 Kids?

You know that famously thought-provoking question: “How many 5-year-olds could you fight at the same time?” Since you legally can’t bludgeon dozens of kindergartners that query will always be a hypothetical question. However, you are allowed to ask the question: “How many kids could two Liverpool players take on at the same time in a soccer match?”

Two professional soccer players, Philippe Coutinho and Gini Wijnaldum, took on 30 members of the pre-Academy under 9s squad and to my surprise, it was much more tightly contested engagement than I anticipated. But remember, these aren’t some dopey kids randomly taken from the local soccer field, these are kids who at a young age show enough promise to be enlisted in a year-round training program that has up to 40 weeks of soccer instruction. Team Kids even had two goalies.

The match ended in a 3-3 tie. Bad job by Coutinho and Wijnaldum, they were too nice. They should have played a more physical game and put those snot-nosed kids in their place.

BTW, I think I could take on unlimited 5-year-olds. I’d probably employ the tactic of grabbing the pudgiest one by his ankle and then start spinning, using the young lad as a weapon with a 360-degree range of attack.