The Rachel Nichols And Jimmy Butler Bubble Love Affair Conspiracy Theory, Explained

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From a journalistic standpoint, the public has no reason to believe that ESPN reporter Rachel Nichols and NBA player Jimmy Butler are guilty of the charge of “slapping cheeks” in July 2020, a strict violation of NBA Bubble protocol and a desecration of 20 years of marriage.

But NBA Twitter sleuths never let truth get in the way of a good story, and in the wake of the recent Nichols’ circus, found it imperative to stoke the coals of the Jimmy Butler Bubble Love Affair narrative.

The Impetus:

NBA Insider Chris Haynes reported in July 2020 that a security guard received a complaint of a “large thumping” within a bubble hotel room during the quarantine period. The guard knocked on Butler’s door and he answered, drenched in sweat, claiming he was dribbling a basketball.

The Allegation:

As the world crumbles around Nichols following her now infamous “diversity” comment, urban gossip site Jordan Thrilla unleashed the rumor that those thumping sounds from a year ago were in fact the sounds of intense, rhythmic coitaling between two consenting adults.

Supporting Testimony:

The Internet then pointed to a cutesy bubble interview Rachel and Jimmy engaged in during Miami’s Finals push last summer, that would be nothing to think twice about if the framework hadn’t already been constructed.

Conspiracy theorists were pleased to also enter into testimony a clip of Karl Anthony-Townes shouting at his former teammate to “Call Rachel Nichols” following a double technical.

The Motive

Meme’d Until Proven Innocent

Virality Achieved


NBA Twitter belongs in a straight jacket.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.