The Rachel Nichols And Jimmy Butler Bubble Love Affair Conspiracy Theory, Explained

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From a journalistic standpoint, the public has no reason to believe that ESPN reporter Rachel Nichols and NBA player Jimmy Butler are guilty of the charge of “slapping cheeks” in July 2020, a strict violation of NBA Bubble protocol and a desecration of 20 years of marriage.

But NBA Twitter sleuths never let truth get in the way of a good story, and in the wake of the recent Nichols’ circus, found it imperative to stoke the coals of the Jimmy Butler Bubble Love Affair narrative.

The Impetus:

NBA Insider Chris Haynes reported in July 2020 that a security guard received a complaint of a “large thumping” within a bubble hotel room during the quarantine period. The guard knocked on Butler’s door and he answered, drenched in sweat, claiming he was dribbling a basketball.

The Allegation:

As the world crumbles around Nichols following her now infamous “diversity” comment, urban gossip site Jordan Thrilla unleashed the rumor that those thumping sounds from a year ago were in fact the sounds of intense, rhythmic coitaling between two consenting adults.

Supporting Testimony:

The Internet then pointed to a cutesy bubble interview Rachel and Jimmy engaged in during Miami’s Finals push last summer, that would be nothing to think twice about if the framework hadn’t already been constructed.

https://twitter.com/wecomingoneday/status/1412307915659264000?s=20

Conspiracy theorists were pleased to also enter into testimony a clip of Karl Anthony-Townes shouting at his former teammate to “Call Rachel Nichols” following a double technical.

The Motive

https://twitter.com/CrisShittingham/status/1412323287741337616?s=20

Meme’d Until Proven Innocent

https://twitter.com/SunsPlayoffSZN/status/1412304524182659076?s=20

Virality Achieved

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NBA Twitter belongs in a straight jacket.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.