RGIII Is Baby-Talking With His Girlfriend In The Comments Of Her Instagram Posts Because Love Heals All

RGIII has become that friend we’ve all had growing up that sheds all responsibility once he gets a little attention from the popular girl in school. He know longer shows up to bro poker night, he’s the only dude who sits at her lunch table, and he sends her “Just Cuz” flowers weekly.  She’s got a tighter grip around his neck than the Abercrombie seashell choker she bought him for their two week anniversary that he wears around the hallways like a red badge of courage even though she only bought him that vagina repellent so no other girls have interest in hitting on him. Chokers are the scarecrows of necklaces, RGIII, stop playin yourself.

Call me a hater, but someone needs to tell it to RGIII straight. The dude just lost out on $11 million in incentives after going down with a shoulder injury in week 1, and while I don’t expect him to be weeping at home while watching old Baylor tapes, I certainly don’t expect him to be baby talking with his girlfriend in the comment section on Instagram after showing up to her place unannounced.


Hang up. No you hang up.

Actually, who the fuck am I kidding. If this chick asked me to leave the blog game and work at the Cold Stone in Cleveland to be closer to her, I’d peace out before I could finish this sentence.



[h/t Busted Coverage]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.