I’m not going to stand here on ceremony, I’ll admit that I’m horrible at golf. It’s gotten to the point that when I go to golf outings, I play about three holes before I just give up and start drinking. When I play in Scramble outings, I don’t even bring my clubs because my ball is never even close to playable. I play so badly that I don’t even believe that it’s actually all a lack of skill. I have to also have bad luck because there really is just no way any human being can be as naturally as untalented at something as I am at golf.
Last night, however, I think I finally met my match in terms of worst luck on the golf course. Namely, golfer Roberto Castro. As the Wells Fargo Championship came to a close last night, Castro and fellow competitor James Hahn were forced into a playoff round. Little bit of background, Hahn has been cut from the eight tournaments in a row. So really, all Castro had to do was play decent golf and Hahn would probably shoot himself in the foot. Instead, Castro shanked the ball so badly it literally bounced off a dude’s face and ended up inside of another’s dude’s shoe.
Zero percent chance that before this footage made it to the public, they didn’t digitally alter it to remove the bloodstains from the ball. There’s no way that first dude’s face didn’t explode after getting beaned in the face by a professionally hit golf ball. What was he even doing? He’s sitting second row during the playoff round and not even looking at the ball? I almost hope he was taking a selfie and the now has to forever live with the picture he snapped of a golf ball lodging itself in his forehead. Also, no one, I don’t care who you are, should feel comfortable to just slip off their shoes in that public of a place. You want to feel the grass between your toes, go run around in your backyard. This is a professional golf tournament. If I can’t wear a t-shirt onto the course, you have to keep your shoes on.
But let’s talk about a lucky break for Hahn. Nothing in the world could have happened to make that go better for him. Hahn didn’t even win by that much. Castro double-bogeyed while Hahn got par. If you’re opponent is knocking teeth out of the skull of spectators and digging his fingers around in some dude’s sweat-filled boat shoe, you have to at least birdie. This was totally Castro’s tourney to win. So I guess the real question is whether Castro has real bad luck or Hahn has real good luck.