Russell Wilson Gives Himself Nickname ‘Mr. Unlimited’ In Video More Painful Than Passing On The Goal Line


Top 3 Most Cringeworthy Celebrity Videos Of 2020:

I Take Responsibility featuring Aaron Paul, Jessica Chastain, Justin Theroux and others

Imagine, featuring Gal Gadot, Jimmy Kimmel, Will Ferrell Unfortunately, and Ramen Noodle Head


It is with great cringe that I must add this new entry to the list:

Mr. Unlimited, featuring Russell Wilson 

Russell Wilson is paradoxical because he’s impossible to hate while also being impossible to love. He’s like an orange Starburst.

Granted, there is a ceiling to how much a man can respect another man who once considered himself a born-again virgin, but for a second I thought Russell was making a bid to win me over with the universally loved mechanism of self-deprecation (“Hey guys, Russell Wilson here. Yes, the typical boring Russell.” Common ground!). But instead, *Dennis Green voice* HE IS WHO I THOUGHT HE WAS.

Russell Wilson seems like the kind of guy who leaves positive Yelp reviews, wears cologne to practice, and says things like “yummers” unironically.


I almost feel bad for shit-talking him because I know if I met him, his corniness would be endearing and I’d consider him a friend. Which is another one of Russell’s irritating qualities: the dude won’t even let me hate him guilt-free.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.